I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
