How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
