it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize