i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
