soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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