this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
