to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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