Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
