hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
