He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
