I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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