8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Hippo gnu deer
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
