i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
