Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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