Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
