He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
