How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize