it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
