Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The Olympian is in my bed
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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