Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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