what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
