Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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