my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
