I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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