she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize