thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
