don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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