did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
