i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
