I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize