There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
