Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
