Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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