Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
