Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
