Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
