The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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