my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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