After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
