I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
