i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
