He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
