I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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