i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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