quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
