I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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