look no pants
id be glad to
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
