There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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