I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
