My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
