I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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