I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
