Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
