What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
