Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
