after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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