Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
