So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
