you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
